Zoe ................ Brenn

                 Help the Brenns middle-name this sister!!!!

This is nothing....

Read most of this at least....

I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a plaything
I will not Xerox my butt
It's potato, not potatoe
I will not trade pants with others
I am not a 32 year old woman
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not show off
I will not sleep through my education
I am not a dentist
Spitwads are not free speech
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
High explosives and school don't mix
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will not squeak chalk
I will finish what I star
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods
I will not spank others
I will not aim for the head
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not conduct my own fire drills
Funny noises are not funny
I will not spin the turtle
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and pointless
My name is not Dr. Death
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bury the new kid
I will not teach others to fly
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
I will not call the principal "spud head"
Goldfish don't bounce
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
No one is interested in my underpants
I will not sell miracle cures
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I am not delightfully saucy
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
There are plenty of businesses like show business
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
I will remember to take my medication
I will not strut around like I own the place
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
Nerve gas is not a toy
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
No one wants to hear from my armpits
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
I am not my long-lost twin
I am not licensed to do anything
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
A fire drill does not demand a fire
I will not tease Fatty
There was no Roman god named "Farticus"
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
Pain is not the cleanser
Silly String is not a nasal spray
My butt does not deserve a website
I am not the new Dalai Lama
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"

By the way, if anyone knows the new band-Sparkly Unicorn Magic and the Bubbles-comment.....J, G, and M.